Im still alive but im barely breathing.

Ever since you left ive been facing this endless battle of being alone. You used to put a smile on my face . You used to have my heart racing. You strucked me like lightning and spread this disease so called " love" through every inch of my body. You weakened my soul and had me in this coma where i dreamed that me and you could stay in eternal grace. But i was just expecting too much, i wasnt prepared for the worst. Your ice cold hands ripped my beating heart out When i was at the calmest state. It hit me all so fast . I was on the verge of death . How could i be so unaware? Was i so sick that the affection we once shared had blinded me?what i didnt see was your intention of killing me. Im now dead to you.

Today couldve been the 2nd month.

You left me so quick. Its like time is going so quick. I feel as if youre fading to the back of my head where all the past memories would soon disapear into the darkness.i guess the was for the better. I want the best for you but the better for me. I know im selfish. But seriously, ive suffer long enough. Where is happiness?

I cant even call you mine.

It doesnt even feel like youre my boyfriend. A normal relationship wouldnt be this stressful. Somethings wrong with us , but what is it? I dont understand ! Ive liked you for so long. Is it because now that you have me , youre going to stop trying? Please give me a sign. Let me know! I want to build a stronger bond. Dont be distant anymore.

I want more.

I want you to show me that theres more to us than just making out. I want us to be committed ! Show me that you respect me , that youre willing to understand me. Respect my descisions and opinions. Dont force me. Ask me if its ok! Dont just assume that when i let you get away with something means that it doesnt kill my brain for the whole week.i can be the greatest girlfriend but you dont deserve to see that side of me if youre not willing to work for it. Hasnt anyone ever taught you that it isnt always a easy come? More like an easy go if you play around. I dont care about your friends. I care about us. Keep in mind that a relationship only consists of 2 people; you and me. I hope we can learn more about eachother with the time we have together. Make it worthwhile. Treat me right. Its going to kill me inside if you dont, you dont know how much i overthink things. I take it to the head.

I had a nightmare

I just remembered a few nights ago i dreamed about you. No, not even a dream. It was a nightmare, i caught you cheating on me with another girl, my heart broke alittle with the thought of that and my eyes flew straight open. I dont really remember all the details but i hope that never happens.i was scared, i dont ever want to lose you because if i do, i know that i wasnt doing enough for you.

It will be a month soon. 10/16

Thank you so much for being able to put up with me. I know im not perfect, i cant have a free conversation with you without thinking what to say, i cant express myself to tell you how much i appreciate having you by my side.so this is the only way to let it out even though you'll never be able to see this. I just hope that we improve our relationship, grow a stronger bond. I dont want to rely on intamacy to keep us going.someday i hope to be able to call you freely at 3am in the morning and hear your soft angelic voice. Thanks,


-your girlfriend ,
Chrissy Tran

Sometimes you get me mad

Even if its like a small thing, i tend to think alot about it. I feel mad dirty just to let you have it your way. I set boundaries for myself. So if you want to get physical, earn it. Because im not easy. Dont think that now that im your girlfriend you can do whatever.