i've notice that i have changed alot.
i have learned not to rely on other anymore and i've become more independent.
i get better grades now. even though they are not the best. b's -c's. i give alot of my effort.
i think its because i have realized that when you think the closest person will be there for you when your in the time of need. but honestly reality has backfired for me. i must admit, i dont have alot of friend. im socially awkward with people. and growing up, i was the shy and quiet type. i have never thought of my self that way. i just think that i was really loud on the inside but the the opposite. like i always need my friends around me to be myself. to make other friends. so i wont feel alone. sometimes i dont want to tell anyone this because they will think im too serious and lose interest in me. they will think im no fun anymore and begin to fade away along with my other old friends... im staying home alot. not going out as much as i used to before... and im beginning to not know myself anymore. i really need someone to depend on. but all i can do is depend on myself.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
:/.
you got me thinking about you again. its 5:31 am and im up an hour early because i cant seem to fall back asleep.
i resminsice about the times when we were close. how we used to call eachother "bestfriend" and hug everytime we pass in the halls. and now what?. you don't even say hi or text me back..you walk past me whenever you see me..did you forget about me already?. i know i wasn't the bestest person out there. i would always complain to you about my guy problems and so. and sometimes i even thought: don't you get tired of this?. wouldn't you think that im a whore since i was bragging about who likes me and such.? i regret going to you about that. like....that really wasn't the real me. this year on 2011. i will be a stronger person. i will be nicer. i will be a better friend.
i know i dont like you anymore but. you were kind of important to me. :/ i thought you would be the one that could understand me but you merely pushed me away after you found a new friend. sometimes i can be cocky.
i dont make the best conversations but thats because im actually really shy.... i mean you say that your shy and you dont like to be the first to say hi but come on? really? it makes me feel like you dont need me anymore. like you played me for a month. actually..i also regret the time when you were trying to get close to me. but i pushed you away. i didn't reply to your text or im's because i thought you were pretty annoying. but now who am i to say?. I'm really sorry about that but guess what?. you hurt me more than i hurted you. it all kind of back fired don't you think?. I'm going to be better...so please don ignore me anymore. i want you back. :c
i resminsice about the times when we were close. how we used to call eachother "bestfriend" and hug everytime we pass in the halls. and now what?. you don't even say hi or text me back..you walk past me whenever you see me..did you forget about me already?. i know i wasn't the bestest person out there. i would always complain to you about my guy problems and so. and sometimes i even thought: don't you get tired of this?. wouldn't you think that im a whore since i was bragging about who likes me and such.? i regret going to you about that. like....that really wasn't the real me. this year on 2011. i will be a stronger person. i will be nicer. i will be a better friend.
i know i dont like you anymore but. you were kind of important to me. :/ i thought you would be the one that could understand me but you merely pushed me away after you found a new friend. sometimes i can be cocky.
i dont make the best conversations but thats because im actually really shy.... i mean you say that your shy and you dont like to be the first to say hi but come on? really? it makes me feel like you dont need me anymore. like you played me for a month. actually..i also regret the time when you were trying to get close to me. but i pushed you away. i didn't reply to your text or im's because i thought you were pretty annoying. but now who am i to say?. I'm really sorry about that but guess what?. you hurt me more than i hurted you. it all kind of back fired don't you think?. I'm going to be better...so please don ignore me anymore. i want you back. :c
Thursday, December 23, 2010
everything changed.
but it's for the better. it's because you didnt want me.
you chose him over me. and after you got closer to the people you used to hate.
you threw me aside. and you STILL havent made effort to talk to me when you guys broke up.
honestly. you were never a good friend anyways. remember that time i got stuff all over my shirt?. you had an extra one and wouldn't even let me borrow it. like. the fuck?. that Tell's me your pretty useless. all you can do is make people laugh with your hilarious personality. but deep inside i know your a mean asshole. something i think you make things up trying to impress me or your other friends. like, that not cool at all. ._. it's pathetic. i really enjoy'ed being your "friend" thanks for the memorie's.
you chose him over me. and after you got closer to the people you used to hate.
you threw me aside. and you STILL havent made effort to talk to me when you guys broke up.
honestly. you were never a good friend anyways. remember that time i got stuff all over my shirt?. you had an extra one and wouldn't even let me borrow it. like. the fuck?. that Tell's me your pretty useless. all you can do is make people laugh with your hilarious personality. but deep inside i know your a mean asshole. something i think you make things up trying to impress me or your other friends. like, that not cool at all. ._. it's pathetic. i really enjoy'ed being your "friend" thanks for the memorie's.
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