Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Im still alive but im barely breathing.

Ever since you left ive been facing this endless battle of being alone. You used to put a smile on my face . You used to have my heart racing. You strucked me like lightning and spread this disease so called " love" through every inch of my body. You weakened my soul and had me in this coma where i dreamed that me and you could stay in eternal grace. But i was just expecting too much, i wasnt prepared for the worst. Your ice cold hands ripped my beating heart out When i was at the calmest state. It hit me all so fast . I was on the verge of death . How could i be so unaware? Was i so sick that the affection we once shared had blinded me?what i didnt see was your intention of killing me. Im now dead to you.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Today couldve been the 2nd month.

You left me so quick. Its like time is going so quick. I feel as if youre fading to the back of my head where all the past memories would soon disapear into the darkness.i guess the was for the better. I want the best for you but the better for me. I know im selfish. But seriously, ive suffer long enough. Where is happiness?

Saturday, October 29, 2011

I cant even call you mine.

It doesnt even feel like youre my boyfriend. A normal relationship wouldnt be this stressful. Somethings wrong with us , but what is it? I dont understand ! Ive liked you for so long. Is it because now that you have me , youre going to stop trying? Please give me a sign. Let me know! I want to build a stronger bond. Dont be distant anymore.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I want more.

I want you to show me that theres more to us than just making out. I want us to be committed ! Show me that you respect me , that youre willing to understand me. Respect my descisions and opinions. Dont force me. Ask me if its ok! Dont just assume that when i let you get away with something means that it doesnt kill my brain for the whole week.i can be the greatest girlfriend but you dont deserve to see that side of me if youre not willing to work for it. Hasnt anyone ever taught you that it isnt always a easy come? More like an easy go if you play around. I dont care about your friends. I care about us. Keep in mind that a relationship only consists of 2 people; you and me. I hope we can learn more about eachother with the time we have together. Make it worthwhile. Treat me right. Its going to kill me inside if you dont, you dont know how much i overthink things. I take it to the head.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I had a nightmare

I just remembered a few nights ago i dreamed about you. No, not even a dream. It was a nightmare, i caught you cheating on me with another girl, my heart broke alittle with the thought of that and my eyes flew straight open. I dont really remember all the details but i hope that never happens.i was scared, i dont ever want to lose you because if i do, i know that i wasnt doing enough for you.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

It will be a month soon. 10/16

Thank you so much for being able to put up with me. I know im not perfect, i cant have a free conversation with you without thinking what to say, i cant express myself to tell you how much i appreciate having you by my this is the only way to let it out even though you'll never be able to see this. I just hope that we improve our relationship, grow a stronger bond. I dont want to rely on intamacy to keep us going.someday i hope to be able to call you freely at 3am in the morning and hear your soft angelic voice. Thanks,

-your girlfriend ,
Chrissy Tran

Friday, October 7, 2011

Sometimes you get me mad

Even if its like a small thing, i tend to think alot about it. I feel mad dirty just to let you have it your way. I set boundaries for myself. So if you want to get physical, earn it. Because im not easy. Dont think that now that im your girlfriend you can do whatever.

Monday, September 19, 2011

I dont think i should be jealous.

When i see all those girls talking to you, i feel furious but why should i? I should trust you and believe that you would say that im the only one for you. I shouldnt baby sit you, i cant control you. And i shouldnt be feeling this way. I tell myself im not a jealous person because i should allow my signifacant other to be able to talk to whomever but it hurts kind of. It makes me feel as if i can never make you happy enough. And that the worst feeling

Monday, April 11, 2011

youre slipping away from me.

i'll be honest because im afraid i will lose you. i can feel it already and its only been a week...
our conversations our different. we cant talk as smoothly as we used to... what went wrong? you're my twin and i understand you but i cant help it when im feeling jealous. when you're with her... im just another person. my god. i dont even know whats wrong with me. we created such a strong bond at the beginning of the year. still going strong until now. she took you away from me...and im scared that you'll never return. also. i can see that youre trying to fit in and all. but you're kind of pushing the perverted thing. i mean you can make jokes about it once in a while but every second is too much and it gets annoying . im just writing this because i care.... i cant tell you face to face. because i already did. and you didn't even bother to change. nor did you look like you cared...

i hope one day you'll realize.... how much you;ve hurt me.

Monday, February 21, 2011

this past year.

i've notice that i have changed alot.
i have learned not to rely on other anymore and i've become more independent.
i get better grades now. even though they are not the best. b's -c's. i give alot of my effort.
i think its because i have realized that when you think the closest person will be there for you when your in the time of need. but honestly reality has backfired for me. i must admit, i dont have alot of friend. im socially awkward with people. and growing up, i was the shy and quiet type. i have never thought of my self that way. i just think that i was really loud on the inside but the the opposite. like i always need my friends around me to be myself. to make other friends. so i wont feel alone. sometimes i dont want to tell anyone this because they will think im too serious and lose interest in me. they will think im no fun anymore and begin to fade away along with my other old friends... im staying home alot. not going out as much as i used to before... and im beginning to not know myself anymore. i really need someone to depend on. but all i can do is depend on myself.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


you got me thinking about you again. its 5:31 am and im up an hour early because i cant seem to fall back asleep.
i resminsice about the times when we were close. how we used to call eachother "bestfriend" and hug everytime we pass in the halls. and now what?. you don't even say hi or text me walk past me whenever you see me..did you forget about me already?. i know i wasn't the bestest person out there. i would always complain to you about my guy problems and so. and sometimes i even thought: don't you get tired of this?. wouldn't you think that im a whore since i was bragging about who likes me and such.? i regret going to you about that. like....that really wasn't the real me. this year on 2011. i will be a stronger person. i will be nicer. i will be a better friend.
i know i dont like you anymore but. you were kind of important to me. :/ i thought you would be the one that could understand me but you merely pushed me away after you found a new friend. sometimes i can be cocky.
 i dont make the best conversations but thats because im actually really shy.... i mean you say that your shy and you dont like to be the first to say hi but come on? really? it makes me feel like you dont need me anymore. like you played me for a month. actually..i also regret the time when you were trying to get close to me. but i pushed you away. i didn't reply to your text or im's because i thought you were pretty annoying. but now who am i to say?. I'm really sorry about that but guess what?. you hurt me more than i hurted you. it all kind of back fired don't you think?. I'm going to be please don ignore me anymore. i want you back. :c